Question: What could you call a gathering of vegan activists?
Meaning, a name for a group of human animal-lovers equivalent to a herd of elephants, a murder of crows, a gaggle of geese? My technophile brother asked ShatGPT. (He also likes Google’s Demon-I. But hey, no judgment; doesn’t every human now turn off their organic brain, offload that pesky thinking to the externalized, privitized, digitized data mind that’s luring our minds into surrender and atrophy? Because Netflix and Xbox aren’t doing the human enstupidification job fast enough! (Okay, boomer, down boy.)
Shat shot back, “A compassion of vegans.” I had to admit, that’s unexpectedly sweet, if obvious and corny. Could also be called a conscience of vegans. But I was thinking more along the lines of, “An irritation of vegans.” And for a larger gathering of us humans who no longer wanna be responsible for slaughtering a chicken for her eggs, or a boy calf so we can take his mother’s milk for cheese, how about, “A nuisance of vegans.”
That might seem about right if, like most human animals, and as I did for over half a century, you’re still eating non-human animal products like ice cream & eggs. Which most humans on Earth do. As we were all trained to do.
I mean, c’mon you annoying vegans, just stay true to human history and go with the bloody flow; kill at least one small animal from a small, family, organic-certified, regenerative farm.
READ MORE about so-called “regenerative ranching,” the “clean coal” of the cow businesses (“beef” and “dairies”).
Well, 30 of us vegan animal rights activists bucked the system and converged on the 4th of July — we who have chosen to pull away from the pack of human carnivores and omnivores and vegetarians — in tony Marin County to celebrate U.S. Independence from Britain. (That’s the story right? Which is a whole story by itself for another blog.)
We paraded ourselves around for the couple-a miles in the warm sunshine, through the lovely little towns of Larkspur and Corte Madera where educated, friendly, affluent Marin County residents overwhelmingly welcomed us, seemingly receptive to our presence, if not fully digesting our message and mission. FYI, as vegan activists we always have to talk in advance about, “What to do if…” Meaning how to deal with anger or opposition or physical force. (We choose peaceful, pacifist response, of course.) But other than a couple of young men (of course) calling out about their love for hamburgers or somesuch, we met only friendly faces, waves, smiles and even interest from the crowds.
I mean, who doesn’t love or at least like cows and other animals? Who would willingly subject a cow or a pig or a sheep to pain and suffering? Very few in reality. (Maybe some of the insecure, man-boys currently cosplaying He-men by baring their fangs, and beating their bare chests, in the halls of power of the West wing of the currently Whites-only House.) So in a world of mostly meat-eaters, what’s going on then? Why are there so few vegans on parade in general, and why does mainstream America consider them so odd and thus annoying?
The answer, as you probably know intellectually, but not in your bones, is also why all the pain and suffering animals experience on the way from Orwell’s Animal Farm-to-table must be hidden from public view. And lied about. Which is what the P.R. firms , ad campaigns and Orwellian words and phrases are for. (Which I can appreciate as an ex-adman/copywriter.)
Doozies like, “ethically sourced,” “humane meat” and one of my faves, used to describe cutting a cow’s throat, “humanely harvested.” Filet mignon, made with love! 🙂 (FUN FACT: Filet mignon is French for “dainty filet.” This is the cow’s psoas (major) muscle, which is located under the cow’s rib, along the cow’s backbone. It’s a pricey “cut” of “meat” cuz it’s only 2-3% of the entire cow. (This info, btw, was not in my head, but not from ShatGPT either. Would you believe I rode my bicycle down to the library to look it up?)
So our message of peace, of not-killing animals, of not-using animals, of not-confining animals, and not-using non-human animals for anything is inflammatory by insinuation. We piss off those who do still treats animals like inanimate objects like rocks or hammers. Which is normal, which is everyone. We are the extremely sensitive people in our insensitive human societies which train and fool humans into being unaware, de-sensitized, distracted and completely insensitive to suffering that surrounds them, just under the surface of every meal, every leather car seat or jacket, every medical experiment, every zoo, and… endlessly on and on.
We showed off our 6-foot-long inflatable baby cow — whose mother was not crying for her return — and a 7-foot long banner provided by In Defense of Animals that reads: “RESPECT ALL MOTHERS & THEIR BABIES. DITCH DAIRY, BE VEGAN.” We of course considered a blunt, more direct — and equally truthful — message: “ALL BABY COWS & THEIR MOTHERS ARE KILLED IN THE DAIRY INDUSTRY” – but knew that truth would be hard for adults to swallow in a celebratory parade, and we wouldn’t be stationary to engage, discuss and explain that upsetting a thought. (If you think that thought is upsetting, imagine the reality it points too — what cows feel.
Also of course you know that raising cows for human food — so-called “dairy” and “beef”— is a primary driver of the climate crisis. Hence another annoying vegan thought and saying, “If you think you can be a meat-eating environmentalist, think again.” This is reality we humans should appropriately respond to not just by freaking out about, but by, for starters, changing our diets immediately. READ MORE: TreeSpiritProject.com/EatingAnimals
We came from all over the Bay area to forge our nuisance: from Occidental to the west (thank you, Kathy) to Oakland (thank you Yolanda, Karen & Hannah and Berkeley (hello, Robert) and even Walnut Creek to the east (thank you Sue & Dennis); from San Francisco to the south, all the way from Fort Bragg 3 hours drive north (thank you, Davina!), and all the way from Sacramento to the NE (thanks, Amy, Molly, Cait, Grant), we all banded together as we vegans enjoy doing, excited to share and proudly parade our message — of compassion and caring for all Earth’s animals. Especially in front of thousands of parade watchers on this typically sunny, beautiful, breezy day in Marin County, at the feet of 2,571-foot-tall Mt. Tamalpais, where luckier, “farm”-free animals roam wild, free of fences and cages.
If all or any of these words resonate with you, or makes you want to consider joining the vegan parade every day of the year, you are most welcome. Check out this website’s Vegan Page for starters. It’s a resource for great documentaries to further inspire, encourage and educate you. And a link to a vegan starter kit, too. Thank you for considering or sharing this blogpost. You’ll be glad you did. And I hope to see you in next year’s vegan parade, wherever that may be.